He’s Got This

 

He’s Got This 

Unwrapping my way

through the plastic 

storage tub layered

with Christmas treasures 

cushioned in old towels-

 carnival glass 

     milk glass 

          mirrored jewel chest

              being passed down to me,

Dad winced.

“Careful,” he reminded,

eyes squinted in fear

of breakage,

“these are rare pieces.”

Surely my recent stolen

jewelry prompted concerns  

about whether I’m a

suitable steward 

of precious things. 

All these thoughts 

of safes

  vaults

    locks

     chains

to safeguard

  to protect

    to defend

      to harbor 

…..to fail 

I wonder about

   my children….

Have I cared for their

  fragile feelings, 

   handled them as carefully?

Spoken as frequently of 

     their value, 

         their worth 

            their rarity

               their uniqueness

as much as these iridescent sheens

  on this proud 

                preening 

                  peacock plate 

    displayed on its

     wooden stand? 

I am certain  

   my priorities 

     need polishing. 

Two mothers asked me

  yesterday

    of my daughter in rehab:

“how do you find the courage

   to talk about this?

     to be so strong?

       to not be worried?”

and I told them the truth 

I firmly believe

  about parenthood 

    about guardianship 

     

Instead of worrying,

    there is a better way.  

    

I imagine a set of marbled stairs 

   as I stand at the bottom

      carrying my child 

At the top of these stairs 

   there is a throne

     where Jesus sits 

       beckoning me 

I ascend those stairs 

   and lovingly place this 

     fragile soul into the lap

       of her one true father-

         - - the one who’ll never walk out - -

       watch as he embraces

     her, comforts her, 

   steadies me, assures me

He’s got this. 

He’s got this. 

It’s not my defeat, 

       not my victory. 

My place is in ceaseless prayer 

    as God does His work.

He’s got this. 

I leave her there 

  in His arms -

    wherever she is:

      on the streets, 

        in jail,

          in rehab, 

             on a date,

               playing with her dollhouse,

                    at work, 

                       at school, 

                        dancing in The Nutcracker…

My place is in fervent prayer warrioring-

   beseeching, listening, following….

He’s got this. 

My courage comes from God. 

My strength is in Him. 

My prayers don’t cease-

   I pray driving to work 

     in the coffee shop

       in the restroom stall 

        in the frozen foods

         in line at the bank 

I pray without ceasing, 

knowing

He’s got this. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18