Dr. Johnson’s/Aunt Kim's
Top Ten Ways to Be Successful in College
Our nephew is leaving for his junior year of college on this very
day, after completing his freshman and sophomore years at a local college while
living at home. This will be his first
extended time away on a college campus. He is
loading his Honda Accord and moving into a dorm room at Emmanuel College in North
Georgia. We recently had a family dinner
to wish him well on his departure, and it caused me to reflect on the
excitement I felt as I left home to go to college. I am envious, because that stage of life when
you have the world at your feet, a backpack on your body, Chacos on your feet and
a map in your hand is the truest time of adventure and self-discovery. There is no other experience like living on a
college campus that helps us put the final touches on shaping and refining who
we are. Our values, morals, manners, and
beliefs have been formed, and at this point in our lives, we fly solo in
understanding what all that means to us.
This is also the school year when I get to see the Class of 2018
graduate. I’ve looped with them since 7th
grade, and some of them I taught in primary school as well. As Daulton begins his junior year of college
and the Class of 2018 begins their senior year of high school, I want to
offer my own version of the Top Ten Ways to Be Successful in College. While it’s nearly impossible to put them in
any prioritized order, I will count down to what I believe is the single most
important factor of success in college and in life.
10. Don’t overreact. Don’t
confuse ripples in the surf with tsunamis.
Don’t pack any high school drama in your suitcase. One of my favorite people in the world, Jill
McAden, is a salve for a worried soul.
At a time in my life when every problem I was encountering was new and
difficult for me in the road I was walking at the time, Jill came alongside me
and absorbed me in a blanket of comfort. She
had been through a divorce and knew what was just ahead for me at every step of
the process. No matter what I shared
with her in the ever-unfolding events of my situation, she never reacted with
any facial expression, words, or body language that exacerbated my sadness or
anger. She didn’t give me more than 10
seconds to wallow in any form of self-pity or talk negatively about anyone who
was upsetting me. Instead, she turned
every conversation into a helpful and guiding experience. What I saw as tsunamis, Jill only saw as
gentle waves. In college, you will believe
that many situations you encounter are tsunamis, when in reality they are only
the ebb and flow of the surf at your ankles.
Richard Carlson (1998, p. 87) believes that by thinking of our problems
as speed bumps, they begin to look very different and we begin to expect a
certain number of them to present themselves at any point in the day. “Like riding a bike, bumps are simply a part
of the experience…..the calmer and more relaxed you remain, the easier it is to
maneuver.” I think of Jill’s approach to
problem-solving often, and believe that friends like Jill are the ones that you
need along the journey. Surround
yourself with people who refuse to participate in the drama and who focus
strategically on what is ahead. Similarly,
I think it’s important to BE that friend and to realize that a loving and
supportive friendship spends only a moment acknowledging the existence of a
problem and allowing a tear or two. It
really focuses on improving life by remaining calm and looking to the future –
seeking a solution and a brighter day ahead.
9. Need others and be needed by others. Every Christmas, my book-collecting father
gives me a box of books. He searches
throughout the year to find just the right books that he knows I will enjoy,
and often writes anecdotal notes in the margins or on note paper and hides them
in books for me to discover. Long after
he is gone, he will still be speaking to me through books. In Leo Buscaglia’s Loving Each Other, the foreword tells the story of a young girl who
releases a butterfly impaled on a thorn and is granted three wishes by the butterfly,
who has been miraculously transformed into a good fairy. The little girl wishes for happiness, and the
fairy leans forward and whispers the secret to happiness in her ear. She grows up to be the happiest person in her
village for all her days, but as she ages, the neighbors all want to know the
secret before it dies with her. The aged
woman smiles and reveals, “The fairy told me that everyone, no matter how
secure they seemed, had need of me” (1984, p. 14). In this passage, Buscaglia
emphasizes the point that we all need each other. In school, in college, and in work beyond
school, the collaborative approach to tasks is a key to success. Working with others who are different from
you can sometimes be a challenge, but it can also be a blessing…..which leads
to #8.
8. Keep an open mind. Always appear to have more questions than
answers in class discussions, and more answers than questions only on
tests. In his book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Robert Fulghum
describes a time when he and a Good Samaritan who had jumper cables attempted to
jump his car. After frying an ignition
system in one of the cars, welding the cables to another car’s battery, and
knocking his baseball cap off his head, Fulghum’s jump mate remarked, “Ignorance
and power and pride are a deadly mixture, you know” (1993, p. 130). Fulghum remarked, “Sure are. Like matches in the hands of a
three-year-old. Or automobiles in the hands
of a sixteen-year-old…..or jumper cables in the hands of fools.” You’re going to witness some deadly mixtures,
but you don’t have to be a part of them.
Know the differences amongst tolerating, accepting, and embracing others
and their ideas so that you are best equipped to value the diversity of the
college experience and life beyond it. You
will encounter religious differences, political differences, sexual preference
differences, and lifestyle choice differences no matter your choice of college
institution. You will encounter
differences in work ethics, differences in nutritional habits, all varieties of
manners and grooming practices, and differences in family structures and
traditions. None of these differences –
let me repeat that: NONE OF THESE
DIFFERENCES – should get in the way of your ability to work on a task with someone
who is different from you. You already know
who you are and what you believe. You
can choose to tolerate others and their ideas, you can choose to accept some of
those ideas, and you can choose to embrace some of them. The important thing is that you see every
experience in diversity as a way of understanding others who share the same
world with you. Find the common threads,
and determine a way to accomplish the task. Look around and observe, and it won’t take you
long to realize that the people who are the unhappiest and most difficult to
get along with are those who are so entrenched in their own ideas and beliefs
that they feel threatened by the ideas and beliefs of others.
7. Prepare yourself for a career that you enjoy. Follow your calling. Elaine St. James (2001) cites a study by
Abraham Maslow that revealed that joyful people do the work that they
love. “Those of you who are waking up to
this potential know that when you tap into that part of you that is waiting to
emerge, when you’re contributing from your heart and from your own special
talents, there’s no fear, there’s no greed, there’s no holding back. There is so much joy that comes from
following the wish of your heart that there’s no time for doubt, no time to worry
about money, no time to get distracted by things that don’t matter. You just know deep down that if you do what
you’re meant to do, you’ll move ahead with full confidence and do the right thing”
(282). When you have found your sweet spot and know that you are working within
the realm of your strengths and the desires of your heart, you know that you
have found your calling. Some of the
best advice I ever got from a college professor was, “If you are considering
any other career besides teaching, go and rule that out before coming back – because
this profession requires people who are doing it as a first choice.” Of course I didn’t drop the class, but I
spent that semester pursuing my interest in mortuary science. I arranged to work with a funeral director
and to be a shadow. I loved most of the
job, but I noticed a difference in my emotional ability to handle the death of
a 75 year old man and a 7 year old child.
While I realized that there would be challenges in any career I chose, I
felt that my strengths and gifts were better geared to the classroom than the
mortuary – although I am sure I have some students who would argue that I am
draining the lifeblood out of them even in the classroom. It’s important to determine your calling –
and it is equally important to know what is not your calling.
6. Don’t fear
movement in a new direction or fine-tuning change along the current path. The famous line that John Steinbeck chose to
use in his novel Of Mice and Men came
from Robert Burns’s poem "To a Mouse" and reminds us that “The best laid schemes of mice and
men go oft awry.” Some translations from
the original line say, “The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.” Steinbeck and Burns both knew that in any
great work of literature, change is a theme that transcends time. It will always exist. When Spencer Johnson wrote Who Moved My Cheese (2002), the book
became an instant bestseller because it gave strategies for dealing with
changes that we all experience throughout life.
Happy people know how to adapt to change and accept that it is a
reality. They know how to anticipate it,
and they know how to use it to their advantage. As Johnson says, “Move with the
Cheese!”
5. Keep your body healthy. Eat right, exercise daily, and sleep well. What is commonly called “The Freshman Fifteen”
is a conscious choice that can be avoided. Every time I have gone to school – whether on
a campus or from home - I have gained weight.
I believe that people tend to do this because of the extreme changes in
schedule that college life brings. Most
of my weight gain was related to stress, which I found much easier to manage
with food instead of exercise. This can
have a domino effect on the whole body in terms of sleep and ability to focus
and function – and feel good. Resist the
urge for late-night pizza and junk food as best you can. These habits, once formed, are hard to undo
and come at the expense of other good things.
Try your best to leave a few minutes early and walk the long way to
class. Break out the Fitbit and find ways
to challenge friends, family members, and yourself to meet daily goals. You’ll help others, and others will help
you.
4. Keep your mind and heart healthy. Pray and go to church. Spiritual awareness of your values will keep
other areas of your life from unraveling where your good choices are
responsible for the outcome. This also
will keep #6 in perspective as well. A
family member and I were talking recently about the ways that college sometimes
causes us to raise questions about our beliefs and to feel uncomfortable as a
result. We went two different ways with
the conversation. We discussed the
positive points of this (it helps us parse out the subtle differences we have
with particular aspects of our beliefs and solidifies the main beliefs even as
we grapple for answers to the aspects that seem incongruent, and it helps us
realize that even as we might disagree with some parts of a belief system, the
tenets are strong enough to get us through the times that we have questions –
because we all do from time to time, and it helps us feel assured that while we
may have doubts, the only way to resolve them is to stay the course and pray
that we find resolution with our struggles).
We also discussed the negative parts of this (sometimes we feel disloyal
questioning what we have always known to be true, sometimes we allow our
questions to excuse our behavior and then end up feeling guilty when we haven’t
held to our beliefs). These questions
that arise and cause us all sorts of inner turmoil are often the times when our
greatest points of self-discovery are revealed to us. It happens to us spiritually, but it also can
happen to us politically as well. I
think of it like a scale that has a range on issues, and on some I may fall on
one end of the spectrum and on others I’m more in the middle or on the opposite
end. Personal values and spiritual
beliefs should provide a rationale for our positions on issues – and it should
also be acknowledged that we don’t owe anyone any explanations for these
positions, either. It’s good to get to a
point where we are confident enough in ourselves that we don’t feel the need to
challenge – or be challenged by – others.
It’s great to get to the point that we can listen to a speech, sermon,
or presentation and privately filter what we dispute on our own without having
to hash out every one of our disagreements – when we can take what we will, and
leave the rest alone.
3. Wrap your brain around studying, reading,
and writing so that you are always prepared for class. Know how to study, and make it your
priority. Some good study strategies are
outlined in College Survival: A Crash
Course for Students by Students (Gottesman and Baer, 1999, p. 47). One of the most effective time management study
strategies, according to the author, is to study for 50 minutes and take breaks
of 10 minutes for every hour that you study (71). Knowing HOW to study is even more important –
using mnemonic devices for memorization, typing notes, asking to record
lectures so that you can listen again to parts that need clarification, using
Post-It notes to mark text discussion points and key findings, and finding good
study groups and study buddies that offer more than one way of solving a
problem or examining an issue. Never
read without a highlighter and a pen nearby.
Know the format of every test, and match your strategies to that format
(i.e. outlining the chapter, being able to summarize it, etc.). If you have trouble getting started on a
writing assignment because you don’t know where to begin, use the recorder on
your phone for a minute or two and record yourself discussing everything you
know about the writing topic – then, go back and type what you said and begin
to organize your paper or essay using your spoken notes. Studying is labor-intensive and should
consume a large percentage of your time.
2. Manage your time well. Elaine St. James (2001, p. 92) suggests using
a timer to sustain focus on the tasks at hand.
She cautions that the timer should not be used to create stress associated
with the clock, but to use the tool as “a gentle reminder to begin or get back
to the task at hand.” Gottesman and Baer
(1999, p. 69) recommend plotting your time with a calendar and, during the first
week of classes, sitting down with the calendar and the syllabus for each class
to record due dates and test dates on your personal planner. This will allow you to see when big
assignments may overlap so that you can structure your time commitments in
advance to balance the time that will be required to complete all the major assignments
for each class. Having daily, weekly,
and monthly goals in writing is a way
to hold yourself accountable for the ways that you spend your time.
1. Text ya mama and them. She – and the rest of your family - really
want to hear your voice, but at a minimum you should text your mother every day
to let her know you are okay. Otherwise,
you may find that you have been reported as a missing person. This can be really embarrassing when they
send in troops who find you alive and well, eating bacon, eggs, and toast for
breakfast in the cafeteria while everyone around you is struggling intently to
hold back their laughter. You may chuckle
at this, but remember – your family members can make this happen. They know people. Try to remember that this will be a tough
transition for your mother, too, and you need to do your part to assure her
that you are capable of living a couple of hours away from home – that your
teeth are brushed, you are wearing clean underwear, and you have showered and
applied deodorant (all in the same day).
Your success in college AND in life depends on this daily habit of
reassuring your mother that all is well in your world because you also must
remember who is helping support you while you are getting through school. I’d say this is the most critical aspect of
your success, because #2-10 will become completely irrelevant upon your failure
to adhere to #1. Go ahead and set a
timer on your phone right now – before you forget.
Works Cited
Buscaglia, Leo.
(1984). Loving Each Other. Thorofare: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.
Carlson, Richard. (1998).
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff at
Work: Simple Ways to Minimize Stress and
Conflict While Bringing Out the
Best in Yourself and Others. New York: Hyperion.
Fulghum, Robert.
(1993). All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts
on Common Things. New York:
Ballantine Books.
Gottesman, Greg & Baer, Daniel. (1999). College Survival: A Crash Course for Students by Students.
Lawrenceville: Arco.
Johnson, Spencer. (1998). Who Moved My Cheese? An A-Mazing Way to Deal With Change in Your
Work and in Your Life. New York:
Putnam.
St. James, Elaine. (2001). Simplify Your Work Life: Ways to
Change the Way You Work So You Have
More Time To Live. New York:
Hyperion.
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